


Like A Hummingbird's Heart.

by siruru



Series: A Thing They Call Love [3]
Category: God Eater (Video Games)
Genre: Action, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Development, Denial of Feelings, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Drama, F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Love Confessions, Male-Female Friendship, Mutual Pining, Older Characters, Post-Apocalypse, Pre-Relationship, Reader-Insert, Slow Build, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-03-05 14:57:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18830983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siruru/pseuds/siruru
Summary: Sometimes joys are small and fleeting, so you have to capture what you can.[God Eater!Reader/Gilbert McLane]





	1. moving forward.

**Author's Note:**

> canon protag is between 16-17, so i am making them a bit older (21) for the sake of the story and Gil's own age.

_DECLARATION OF TRANSFER: MCLANE, GIBERT OF FENRIR GLASGOW BRANCH TO BLOOD SPECIAL FORCES UNIT, MOBILE FORTRESS FRIAR._

Gilbert isn’t sure how to feel about all this after the incident with Kate had been put on extended leave and hadn’t fought Aragami in a long while unless the need was absolutely necessary. It wasn’t that he was rusty in any sort of way, but the fight was different when your teammates kept looking at you like you were going to stab them in the back -- like they had more of a reason to be scared of you then the Aragami.

Gilbert McLance knew his own worth and it didn’t need to be spent wasting away in a little branch where neither of his friends were anymore, while there was so much more he could be doing, So, with knowing much about Dr. Rachel or the Blood Special Forces Unit, dark colored eyes stare at the blinking console.

 _DO YOU ACCEPT NEW TRANSFER ASSIGNMENT?_  

He already knew the answer deep down as he signed all the necessary documents.

* * *

 

However, Gilbert didn’t except Blood to filled with a bunch of kids... _newbies_ that had just been assigned to being a God Eater in the first or had no real battlefield experience. It hits him full force when that Romeo kid asks him where he is transferring from and why, Gilbert knows that it isn’t really his fault but between the blond’s annoying voice, the hovering dark-haired girl, and how it just brings up a bunch of old memories -- he ends up socking the kid to the ground.

That’s when he hears it: “What’s going on here, soldier?”

 _Barely an hour in and already getting into trouble, Gil_. He hears Haru’s voice tease him in his head as two figures --the second part of Blood from the investigating he had done on NOVA-- approach the three of them.

There’s a blond dressed in a blue jacket and pants who seems to be frowning at his action -- the former picture he has seen tells Gilbert that this is Julius Visconti, his new captain. The other figure is wearing the standard Blood uniform and while there seems to be no immediate emotion on her face, Gil can tell by the fire in her eyes that’s she pissed. However, she is quicker to mask it, probably due to age.

But, the kids kept yapping, trying to get some appeasement from the other two. Gil couldn’t help but sigh. 

“--I’m Gilbert McLance, but you can call me Gil. As for the kid, he was out of line, so I socked ‘em,” blue eyes meet gray ones, as Gil can feel the stare of another person from behind as well, “Just throw me in the bridge or whatever you do here. I’m out.”

He passes the girl on his way out, and Gilbert can’t help but think that this will be as bad as the Glasgow branch.

* * *

It isn’t until later that he realizes that it isn’t going to be the exact same thing, as he watches the older girl comes to stand right in front of him within the Friar garden. There is an easy-going smile on her face and Gil can’t help but stare a bit longer than usual.

“Have they decided to punish me yet?” is all he can really ask, though he ends up feeling a bit confused when her smile gets larger as she shakes her head. Well, that was certainly something new.

“We’re going to make amends,” she states like it’s the easiest thing in the world like everything can be solved with an apology. But, as he really waits for her to spill the beans, her smile just gets larger.

**Oh shit, she was right.**

Gilbert is stuck with heaving a sigh and laughing at all this, though deep down he can’t feel anything but glad.

“Is that so?” he can’t help but asks, as she nods her head -- already understanding Julius’ words better than anyone else, “That Julius guy is the Captain, right? Heh, I didn’t think he would be so prickly about this.”

“I did what I had to do when it needed to be done. And I won’t apologize for that,” Gilbert noticed the small smirk that her lips move into and he wants to laugh for real this time. However, the change between Blood and the Glasgow branch hit something inside him and he knew that it would be better to make amends early on.

“I am sorry for causing problems so early though. I’ll talk to that Romeo kid later,” Gil admits defeats for now, as that smirk grows into something softer.

“You can always talk to me if you want,” she states like it's the easiest thing in the world with that same smile. Gilbert doesn’t say anything, but he can tell that this place is going to be a different type of problem for him -- he just didn’t know if that was going to be good or bad, though.    

However, it is enough for him to want to start all over again, as he compares her to the Captain.

“Hey, whatever happens, I get the job done. Simple as that,” he explains, proud over the fact as he has her full attention, “Look, a lot happened back in Scotland. I’ll tell you about it another time.”

_Maybe, its best to start over. I’m Gilbert McLance. I transferred here from the Scotland branch. I may be the new guy in Blood, but I’ve been a God Eater for five years. I’m good at what I do._

And that start over was the beginning of a lot of things, but for now all Gilbert finds out is that the prickly gal is closer to his age (between his and the Captain’s to be exact) compared to everyone else, and maybe that’s why she’s easier to handle than anyone else in Blood.

Yeah, that has to be the reason why.


	2. traction.

You learn early on that Gil is a man of few words, but a wealth of knowledge. It helps you in better understanding the mechanics and how exactly you could use a God Arc. You could tell Nana was learning from the whole experience as well. It wasn’t like you did know exactly about everything.  You had worked as an operator for a couple of years beforehand, but supporting and being in the front lines were two completely different things.

“So, this would be better,” you question as you move your God Arc to the right and Gilbert nods. The Aragami stimulation disappears and you can’t help but grin at the sight.

“Good work,” he states with a nod as you move forward with more training.

With how loud Blood could be at times, it was nice to have silence sometimes.

* * *

Yet, it’s not quite when it comes to Friar or God Eaters in general.  Gil has come to realize that a lot of them have odd personality traits or like to boast about whatever sort of thing that came to their mind. He was sure that he was odd compared to all that, but she-she tended to be nice with everyone and anyone. It almost reminded him of--

“--A knight in the service of the Far East Branch’s glorious 1st unit. I am Emil von Strasbourg,” the man with a certain flair declares as she nods. Gil can tell that even though there is a smile on her face, her eyes are dull with a lack of real emotion.

She smiled like a diplomat. The face of Blood to everyone who didn’t know Julius. She tried to be friendly with everyone, but what she enjoyed the most was silence. Gil was starting to realize that.

“It’s great to meet you,” she declares at the end of Emil’s speech and shakes his hand before telling him that they both need to prepare for the next mission. Emil agrees and waves goodbye to them while declaring that they will meet again in the glory of the battlefield.

“How annoying,” she breathes out when Emil is out of sight and rubs her nose before walking out of the lobby.

No, Gil rescinds his early thought.

She doesn’t remind him of K--, more of younger him than anything else and Gil can’t help but scoff at the notion before following her lead.

* * *

**_“A new Blood Art has been activated  !”_ **

Gil is standing to the back when he sees it like everyone else when she gets her own Blood Art -- when she shows the whole damn team that Julius isn’t the only one that can have it.

The most surprising thing...it happens when she’s protecting Emil, of all people. 

He wants to laugh at the situation, but the battle starts up once more. She wobbles a bit after letting go of her new Blood art, Gil grabs her.

“You  just  had to show off, huh?” Gil remarks in a bland sort of tone. It’s more of an observation mixed with something else, he isn’t even sure why he says it. It almost seemed too rude and abrasive, but that would fit the image that most people had of him.

But, instead of pushing him away or throwing some annoyed remark back at him all she does is a laugh. A deep and tired guff of air escaping her lips as she steadies herself once more. She shakes her head and moved forward to looking back at the smaller Aragami left in Murdock’s wake. There’s fighting and yelling from the comms system that he almost doesn’t hear it.

“Always,” she relents with a shrug before jumping back into the fight.  

Gil stood there for a good moment before shaking his head and following her into the fray, slowly coming  to realize that he really couldn’t  put her any “box” of who she reminded him of and what she was  compared to  the other Blood members.

It wasn’t until much later on that he would come to question whether that was a good or bad thing.


	3. vice-captain duties.

> _“Will you accept the position of Vice-Captain?”_

That is what Julius had told her after they had seen her new Blood Art activate. It doesn’t surprise Gilbert even less so when she says that she will with a smile and proud. There is still a lot of work to be done with the Blood Unit, as the Captain had pushed her aside to talk about with Ciel. But, Gil was sure that she was the best of them to handle it. She was coming to her own as both a God Eater and a Unit member.

The real problem was going to be how to handle everyone else, including himself. He hated to admit it, but Gil wasn’t the best to talk with at times.

….Especially when it came to Romeo.

“Congrats,” is something that he hears everyone saw as they leave the room. She smiles in a way that tells Gil that she’s the right person for the job. She’s already becoming everyone’s big sister, as Nana laughs before she keeps fighting with Romeo.

Gilbert wants to believe that this will be a good step forward for all of them, especially when he’s been wrong. 

* * *

Training, meetings before and after missions, group work were all the things that came after the new Vice-Captain and Ciel teamed up to improve the Blood unit. Gil wasn’t sure whether that was a good or bad thing.

He found himself asking that question a lot nowadays, as he watched her running simulations with Ciel and Nana after the latest missions. It is all what-ifs. There is never going to be enough preparation for all that could happen and could go wrong in a mission. Gil knew that too well.

Maybe, she knew that as well as she found him sitting in one of the many breakout rooms within Friar. She had notes and books in her arms. It’s almost scary in its own way how she can take everything in and try to make it her own. Gil was slowly--as her eyes met his and she took a seat-- starting to realize how crafty she could be.

“Gil,” she starts off with a smile, “ Could you could answer some questions for me?” 

“About training and missions,” she answers back as she pulls out a bag of candy from a side pocket. Gil can’t help but shake his head, she must have been keeping an observant eye over everyone on the team now in her own way.

She pushes the candy bag across the table and grins, as he takes one: “What do you wanna know?”

“Everything and anything!”

* * *

 “Romeo, stay left!” she screams as runs forward. Gil is at her six ready for anything with Nana rushes forward following her lead as well.

_Sidestep. Deep breath. Move to the left and wait a minute._

“Vice-Captain!” Ciel screams in momentary worry.

Gil watches in slight annoyance, already aware of what she is doing, she had gotten it from him of course. She's going to step back and jump in the last minute, like he had told her to do, before taking a slash at the Aragami.

She switches her God Arc to a shield and steps back.  Nana takes the frontal assault, but Gil is sure that she gets pushed back to where he is that he can hear her laughter filtered into all the carnage.

The Vice-Captain was a scary person when she wanted to be.


	4. troublesome.

Between all the training, missions, and general camaraderie, there seems to be a general team built around the members of the Blood Unit  . And  maybe , it’s because of that that Gilbert gets complacent.

“Come on,” Romeo tries to laugh but it dies down, like when he always tries to talk to Gil, “How can you not like Yuno Ashihara?”

“Not everyone is as obsessed as you,” Nana laughs as the arguing starts all over again. It’s more like younger siblings fighting than anything else. Blue eyes glance over to the Vice-Captain as she smiles and looks away from the sight. Gil still lingers for a little while longer before they get to their destination.

He expects to deal with Nana and Romeo’s strangeness and fights with them at least once a day.  Yet, the Vice-Captain is like a whirlwind, she is quiet sometimes and bubbling with laughter at others . As she turns and sees him, has caught him staring at her, all she can do is smile before joining the talk.

Gil could get used to this, but like a whirling storm -- the Vice-Captain likes keeping  all of  Blood on their toes with her foolish decisions .

* * *

Gil can’t stand people like Director Grem -- people that use others for their own profit, regardless of what happens to others  . He knew that sending Blood to protect the God Arc Soldiers was a bad idea.  It smelled of something horrible, but Julius and the Vice-Captain played smiling diplomats to the very end and followed orders .

That was until the Red Rain started during the mission. Then, Fran is yelling at them to take cover, but Ciel is still isn’t there with the rest of the team as they  are told  to stand back. How are they going to leave her there?

The rest of Blood is stuck, as Gil feel a lump forming in his throat. He's used to losing people, but the initial feeling never leaves him. It stays glued to his heart like so many other regrets. And it’s due to his own sobering thoughts that he doesn’t notice what the Vice-Captain does in that split second.

There’s a fight over the intercom between Director Grem and Julius. Gilbert can hear is her heavy breathing and cursing from the communications system. Ciel isn’t listening in anymore. She had cut her system off before any of this had gone down, but all Gil can hope is that they don’t lose two of them today.

“All Blood Special Forces, I order you to fall back immediately,” Julius’ voice demands over the comms system, “Leave the rest to them  . Understood?  Just  come back alive. ”

All the rest of the team hear is a curse as an affirmation.

* * *

The court of inquiry is something that Gilbert is too used to by now.  Between all the times that he got dragged to one because of Haru and his own personal experience -- it wasn't a place that he enjoyed being in . But, because Blood is its own independent branch under Director Grem, this one is short and sweet.

A week of solitary confinement for ignoring to a superior’s orders.  At the declaration of the sentencing there is nothing but a firm line on her face, though Gil --by now-- can tell the difference . Her eyes are glimmering with pride over saving a comrade. She is proud over what she had done and she would have done the same thing once more.

It sinks into his very being that she would keep doing this. She cares too much (even in such a short amount of time) about everyone in Blood to see something happen to them.

He can’t help but wonder why. As everyone takes their turn to visit her,  mainly  Ciel, Gibert thinks its better to keep his distance.


	5. compromises.

Gilbert tries his hardest to avoid her once she comes out of solitary confinement. It isn’t that he's angry over what she had done, he understood her reasoning. He also knew that Director Grem didn’t deserve their help, but orders were orders at the end of the day. She had  blatantly  ignored them for Ciel’s sake. 

She cared too much and she ran into trouble without a second thought. It stirred something in Gil that he knew the second that he had some alone time with her would explode. 

“Reckless idiot,” is all he murmurs to himself before settling into bed with an ache and worry in his heart. 

Gilbert can’t help but wonder, as the dreams and endless replay of what he had done, why all the women he cared about were like this . 

* * *

Yet, avoiding the Vice-Captain is easier said than done as Gilbert realizes that she has crept into almost all the nooks and crannies of his life . The only place that he could escape her was his room and even he could only stayed locked up in a small room for so long. 

Thus, he spoke even less than before and only when he  was asked  for his opinion.  He shut himself off even more from the rest of Blood and while he knew that was childish, Gil knew that he wasn’t going to let her off easy . He didn’t want to have that kind of connection with someone again. He didn’t want to care, but it was never that easy for him. 

The damn finally breaks during a routine Aragami mission.  Everyone had gotten used to his current attitude and kept their distance as both Nana and Romeo went to look for something to eat . He and the Vice-Captain went towards the center of Friar.

She doesn't say anything, but he can feel the back of his neck burning. He frowns, unsure of why she isn’t saying thing.  He could understand why she wouldn’t do so when the younger members of Blood weren’t around, but this was something different . 

Gil is running around in circles and that’s when the bottles finally pops, as he turns to look at her. 

“How could you be so damn reckless. Charging into the red rain like that was pure lunacy,” he yells at her a few days of pretending everything was back to normal, but Gil can’t take it anymore, “You can’t do that. If something had happened, those you left behind...they couldn’t understand. I like that you’re gung-ho. It’s the reason I’m here, but don’t think that you can do everything alone.”

She pauses for a second and looks straight into his blue eyes. It seems she  is caught  between fighting and understand all too well what he is trying to say. It’s then that Gil sinkers back and with a thumping heart looks down at the floor. 

“Look...I...Sorry for the lecture.  See ya,” he pulls his cap and turn around, only to leave her standing in the entrance of Friar without another word between them . 

* * *

 Gil is still picked for the next Aragami missions after that but she doesn’t look at him or even acknowledge him. It isn’t the worst that Gilbert has gone though, but it still bothers him. Maybe he was in the wrong for calling her out on it but he doesn’t feel like it. 

Yet, he is quick to notice one thing as they have more awkward, silent missions together.  She moves back more often and makes sure that everyone is taking safety precautions when the battle gets to be too much  .  More time and effort  are spent  on medical bullets and training for all of them, as he sees her talking about with both Ciel and Julius . 

She pauses for a second, during one of their quick meetings post-Aragami mission, and looks at him for a second . Gilbert looks backs without so much blinking and can’t believe what her lips are saying.

> _I’m sorry._

His eyes widen, but before he can say or do anything about the situation she has turned back to talking with the other two members of Blood  .  Gilbert stands there for a second before shaking his head and deciding to head to the communal dinner instead .

It was funny to think that the Vice-Captain was willing to take what he had said and try to make something new out of it for the whole team . She won’t admit how wrong she was to his face -- that was a new fact to learn about her. 

And if she is willing to make compromises, well then he would try his hardest too. 


	6. far east branch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am going to try to update this once a month! enjoy!
> 
> hopefully, i will get god eater 3 soon.

Unlike most of them, Gilbert isn’t bothered by the red rain or the moving of Friar to the Far East branch. He's used to moving about when the need rang up after what happened in Glasgow.  God Eaters are meant to go where the need arose and there was always a need in the Far East, where Gil remembered there was a high mortality rate and an understaffed branch team. 

In its own way, Blood was meant to replace that, even though the Director wasn't happy about the doctor’s choice. Gil didn’t have to handle all that though, that was more the Captain’s job than anything else. 

He watched the rest huddle around each other talking about the red rain and the black plague that seemed to follow. His eyes narrowed on the laughing Vice-Captain before shaking his head and going back to his own thoughts. 

It was then that it hit him like a ton of bricks, that the Far East Branch was Haru’s home base. 

He could only wonder where his best friend was nowadays.

* * *

_Kota. Emil. Erina. Haru. Kanon._

It should be a crime how she dragged them all under her pretty thumb, though Gil shouldn’t be thinking about the Vice-Captain like that. Yet, he can’t help but watch as she smiles and waves through each conversation and person as she gets to the Far East.  Julius might have the name and political know-how, but everyone knows where the charisma of the Blood Unit is. 

“--Thank you for your kind welcoming. I will do all in my honor to defend this branch and its people.  In the honor of the many who had done so before me, thus your gracious help and support are most appreciated.” 

Gil watches as Julius ends his speech awkwardly, but a few steps away the Vice-Captain is already chatting away with some of the other guests and support staff of the Far East. She laughs at something the 1st Unit Captain says. For some reason, Gilbert keeps an eye on her for the rest of the damn party, though he knows she doesn’t need it at all.

* * *

Between him catching up with Haru and whatever she does with Ciel and the starry-eyed mechanic, Gilbert doesn’t see too much of the Vice-Captain. Yet, he couldn't help but notice that she has kept him off the mission roster since they had entered the Far East.  Gil knew that this might’ve happened as she grew more into her role and learned what she wanted from each team member.

But, he didn’t think it would annoy him this much. Gil was sure that the Vice-Captain knew all that he could do on the battlefield against the Aragami. Hell, he was the most senior member of Fenrir within Blood. He wasn’t ever going to ask her though, that wasn’t his style. 

It doesn’t stop Haru from asking the first time he starts talking to her though. 

“So, if you don’t mind me asking,” Haru smiles as she keeps staring at him with a neutral face.  It’s the first time that Gil had seen --from this angle-- anyone ignores the man’s charm, “Why haven’t you taken Gil on any missions lately ?” 

“Oh,” she perks up at the sound of his name, “Gil’s been helping me so much with my personal training and with everything, I thought it would be good for him to spend some time with you. As a break, I thought he deserved it is all.” 

“You think  highly  of him, don’t you?” Haru teases though Gil can’t see her face from this angle. Gilbert wants to get up and stop the whole conversation now.  

He didn’t want to know the answer. 

“Well, why wouldn’t I?” she answers back, “Gilbert’s an amazing God Eater, regardless of what anyone else says or thinks.” 

Silence covers their little area for a moment before Haru starts laughing. Gilbert can’t quite catch what his best friend says next, but she nods earnestly as the man pats her shoulder. 

Gilbert isn’t sure what might be going on, but he tucks his face underneath his hat more than usual for the rest of the time he’s there. 


	7. the moment.

After coming to the Far East branch, the Vice-Captain tends to see less of Gil as a result. They still go on missions and training together, but he tends to go and find Haru afterward and she tends to do everything else that lands on your lap. It isn’t that she doesn’t enjoy helping other people, but there are moments where she wants time for herself. Yes, she is the face of Blood while Julius was away, but sometimes it just felt like too much -- like pure suffocation.

“Hey,” she hears a familiar voice, only to turn and see Haru sitting on the other side of the couch, “How are ya?” 

She’s confused for a moment before giving him a weary grin, “Tired.” 

“Well, you should hang out with Gil and me,” he remarks as smooth as butter, “That’ll probably cheer you up.”

Haru won’t say anything about how her mood tends to brighten when she hears his best friend’s name or when she tends to lean a bit more whenever the silent man decides to give his own two cents. Haru keeps that all in his pocket for now. 

* * *

 

Gilbert can’t help but laugh at the loneliness that he tends to feel nowadays, especially when she is not around. It’s silly though because he sees her every day -- during missions and training, she is right there giving orders and shooting those new Blood bullets that she made with Ciel. Sometimes, she is there during shared mealtimes and having a laugh with Haru, but it still doesn’t feel the same. 

As she got more comfortable in her role as Vice-Captain and God Eater in general, Gil tended to see her less and less now. She was always helping with research or reading up on the newest tech with Ciel and Licca, sometimes she even joined in to see Dr. Rachel’s talks or update Julius back on Friar. The little, personal training sessions that they used to have were replaced with something more concrete, but there was always an excuse to keep training. 

\--To hone your skills so that accidents won’t happen. 

At least, that’s what Gilbert thinks to himself as he sees her walk towards the elevator with a pad in hand. She’s going off somewhere else, always ready to help anyone at hand. 

“Gil,” her voice causes him to freeze, as he looks up, “Are you taking a break?” 

“Yeah, sort of,” he remarks softly as she smiles. He isn’t willing to say that he just wanted to be alone since he couldn’t find her and Haru was on a mission with Kanon.

“Well,” she starts off before breaking into a grin, “Let’s go training. We haven’t done it in a while and I’m getting rusty.”

Gil has to stop himself from falling over the couch, as she stands there waiting for him.   

* * *

 

“Can you believe that,” the Vice-Captain giggles out as they head back after training is over. She is telling him how she has taken the young Erina under her wing, “ _ She called me incredible. _ ” 

She smiles and looks at him, only for Gilbert to pause and look a second afterward. He can tell that even though she is giddy over this, but it shook her to the core as well. Since he had gotten to know her, Gilbert has realized that the Vice-Captain was a street rat from wherever she had come from. Like the rest of humanity and even himself, she has looked towards Fenrir to find an escape to her life -- to have a place to eat and sleep in exchange for her life. 

She had been compatible, but no God Arc had called to her. She was unique in her own way and it wasn’t until the Blood Unit had called her.  

She keeps talking, this time about Kanon and how Haru had thrown her training to him, as Gil stays quiet and keeps watching her. She pauses for a moment and grins at him. 

Gil swears that his heart stops at that moment, as she goes about her daily life. 


	8. Chapter 8

Haru can’t help but laugh at the sight, not out of spite or anything. It’s more like how the thought of Gilbert falling in love had never been so clear as of now. Haru knew that his best friend might have felt something deeper for Kate, but either Gil never realized it or he never acted out on it. Haru leaned towards the former, but this...whatever this was with the Vice-Captain was different. 

He can hear it in the way she laughs with Gilbert at her side, trying out whatever new concoction Blood had come up with. Bullers and pills were just the starts, but the whole team has a tendency to revolutionize whatever field they were interested in. 

Cue Gilbert coughing in front of him as the Vice-Captain pats his back: “Is it’s supposed to taste like I’m on fire?” 

She shakes her head no before writing a few notes down. Haru can’t help but feel like the third wheel as he watches Gilbert’s eyes soften when she looks away.

* * *

However, happy moments aren’t meant to last forever, Gilbert knows that all too well. It comes back crashing into his reality when they find that the Aragami that has been terrorizing the Far East is the same one that he had faced back in Glasgow with Kate. 

> _ But hey, there’s nothing wrong with failure. It’s what comes after. If you refuse to give up, eventually you’ll succeed. _

He hears her words in his head like a broken record player. Kate has haunted him every day since the accident, but for a brief moment, he has forgotten all about it. Gilbert thought that he could be happy and truly be able to move forward within Blood, with the Vice-Captain at his side. 

Gilbert was a failure. He didn’t deserve to think about what came after. 

However, the Vice-Captain was the opposite of his, truer to Kate’s words than he could ever be. The Vice-Captain was a living embodiment of them. Every time there was an obstacle in front of her, she seemed to break it down without any remorse whether it was the limit of her own abilities or just how Blood worked together. She banged against the wall as many times as she needed, analyzed the problem, and went to hit it head-on. 

It was a sight that brought fear and desperation crawling into Gil’s very being, but he understood why now. However, Gilbert knew better now than he did before to lean onto impossible feelings and hopeless dreams. 

Gil,” voice filters into his thoughts. He jumps back into the living world and the situation at hand, “Are you all right?”

Blue eyes flicker up to notice the Vice-Captain giving him a worried look. Gil can’t help the fluttering that gathers in his chest as she just looks at him. She was trying to hard with everything that was constantly thrown at her, though he didn’t always agree with how she did things. He knows  _ deep, deep _ down that he wanted to be by her side, to help in anyway he could. 

It’s silly. Was this the way Haru felt when he looked at Kate all those years ago? 

“I’m fine,” Gil mumbles as the rest of Blood turns to look his way for a moment, “Just tired is all.” 

She smiles and the world turns a little brighter, and Gil feels the need not to bother her more than necessary. 

She has bigger fish to fry than how he might feel about her. This is insignificant compared to staying alive and battling Aragami, but for some reason -- it doesn’t feel like that either. 

 


End file.
